If you are struggling with porn or wishing to help someone who is struggling then my best advice is to make a plan and take three steps

Step 1 - Be real and mete out some tough love but
never give up and always strive to overcome

  • It's a binary choice - to become part of the solution or to remain part of the problem. There's no middle path. 
  • Be honest and call the behaviour what it really is – an addiction caused by selfishness - the need to please and reward yourself.
  • Review your behaviour and history; how long it has been going on and what first led you to it
  • What triggers your need to watch porn no? There will be several, such as certain visual (non porn) cues, day-dreaming or thoughts that seem to come from nowhere and so on.
  • How different (darker) are the searches you make now from when you first started?
  • Estimate how much time you’re losing a year - the length of time (hours) of your longest visit and average visits a month and resolve to not waste your life on this downward path
  • Accept the damage it has done or will do to your health and well being if you continue and that it will cause nothing but misery the longer it goes on.
  • Consider how your loved one will feel and react if they don’t already know about your addiction – the hurt and feeling of rejection.
  • Understand that your behaviour will cause you to objectify the opposite sex, including a loved one
  • Understand that you run the very real risk of becoming impotent
  • Realise that the people who profit from the porn industry or upload personal videos of themselves couldn’t give a damn about you or your family’s welfare. They are only out for themselves.
  • Now prepare for a real battle that you will resolve to win. 

Step 2 - Resolve that you will make a deliberate, conscious effort to live a better, happier and truly free life.  See pornography for what it really is - a means of entrapment and enslavement from which no good whatsoever will come. Always tell yourself, day after day, that you will overcome this. Be positive, look to the future, the possibilities are endless and listed below are just a sample

  • Avoid the triggers you identified and if you do encounter them, take a stand every time and make the choice that you won’t act on them for the sake of your health and personal relationship;  that you will cease to be selfish and self-absorbed, that you are now and will always be part of the solution.
  • See people as people to be loved and not as objects and give people a helping hand whenever you can.
  • Watch who you mix with socially, avoiding loud or aggressive people.
  • Don't watch any disturbing or violent films.
  • Strive to be happy and positive, and foster an inner calm and peace.
  • Listen to relaxing, peaceful music. 
  • Get out into the fresh air and develop a hunger and love of nature and wildlife
  • Get active to get that dopamine rush; go for a brisk walk in the park or a run or cycle ride.
  • Broaden your knowledge of a subject and read about it. Seek out like-minded folk.
  • Take up a hobby and stick with it.
  • Donate any free time to a charitable cause etc 

Step 3 - Finally, don’t lose your faith in whatever you you believe in and never, ever give up

Persist. “Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.” ― James A. Michener

Have a winning mindset. “ Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” ― Vince Lombardi

Be Strong – “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most cetain way to succeed is to try, just one more time” – Thomas Edison

I was addicted to porn for many years until I saw what I had become and what it was doing to me. Click here for the page - My Struggle 

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